Ahmad Kontar
photo credit: emile kirsch
“from a very early age i have always felt connected to music. i remember once, it was christmas and my twin sister sara and i were dancing like crazy to the sounds of shakira, having drunk for the first time…i must have been 9 or 10 years old, we were very young! at that time, i was playing basketball on a national level all around syria, from 7 to 15 years old. suddenly, i was forced to quit when the war started and channelling all my energy became very difficult. that is actually why i started breakdancing. my dad introduced me to his friend who was teaching hip-hop in his studio, and when i saw him dancing, i realised that was exactly what i wanted to do.
starting dance brought me back to my most enjoyable childhood memories. dance makes me feel free and procures specific joys that i cannot find elsewhere. it embodies my uniqueness and allows me to create a space in which i can express myself. above all, it enables me to be fully present. i consider dance as my favourite way of communicating, especially since i didn’t speak one word of french when i arrived in france. dancing helped me feel as if i belonged to french society, even when i could not communicate verbally. i was lucky enough to have a family that has always been supportive, and understood the importance of fostering talents before anything else. back in my hometown, dancing was never really considered as something manly enough. i somehow achieved to change people’s opinion when i taught dance there from the age of 17 to 19.
however, i don’t think i have a special talent. i have never believed in talent. i only believe in working hard for what you love. we are all talented. why would you impose limits and obstacles on yourself when society is already preventing you from accomplishing your full potential?
photo credit: sara kontar
when i first arrived in france at the age of 19, i struggled with my country’s identity. should i tell people that i’m from syria? imagine arriving as a refugee and automatically being represented as an issue for society. you want to feel as small as possible and not disturb. i even asked myself if i should change my name. i know some friends who changed theirs. should i change mine to françois or jean-pierre? no, for me it would have been too easy. i strongly believe that telling your story remains essential in life. it allows you to communicate despite your differences and eventually inspires people to do the same. i wanted people to accept me as ahmad from syria. my name was chosen 100 years ago and given from generation to generation. if someone would judge me according that, i would simply call it ignorance. the same way i changed people’s minds about dance in syria by teaching dance, i continued this path towards open-mindedness by keeping my name.
after two years in france, i reached the point of really accepting myself and i have been so happy here. many doors opened for me and i experienced things that would have never been possible in syria or elsewhere. for sure, there are still things belonging to western culture that i can’t fully comprehend yet, such as when it comes to relationships. in my culture, we have been educated to appreciate meeting someone for the first time, learning to share common things and then sex might happen, whereas here sex happens before commitment. while in the Arab world sexuality has remained quite taboo, french society views it as something that can be consumed. for me, since i’m giving my body to another person, sex should always be kept precious.
photo credit: sara kontar
i feel like i hold an important responsibility towards society as a dancer but also as a human being in a context where society is getting more and more divided. i found it quite paradoxical how easier it is to send a message on instagram, than talking to a stranger in-person.
for me, my responsibility as a dancer can be small things such as drawing a smile on children’s faces while i’m dancing in the streets because it reminds me of my own existence. that’s how we remain alive, don’t you think? for these moments of humanity, i suppose. i just feel that sometimes we are so close but still so far, you know? this is why dance is so important, it unites us. as one can only give what they have, i chose to give dance.
i also really want to acknowledge that there are hundreds of “ahmad” in Syria, the difference is that their stories are not being told. i recently spoke to a friend who is still in syria, and he told me, ‘you know ahmad, they always say you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s been eleven years and we are still not able to see it’. i want my friends and people back in syria to know that we are not forgetting them. we are looking for a way to help, and giving back hope is what matters the most for me today. they need people who will reach out to them. if given the opportunity, i would like to use my influence to communicate a message of hope. i do believe i’m already on this path trough dance. i’ve never hidden where i came from, and have always considered dance and hip-hop as the most efficient tools rooted in peace, love, unity and having fun.”
photo credit: zeb daemen
words exchanged during a zoom call in november 2020 between paris & dubai.
published in https://thewhatdancecandoproject.com/portfolio/ahmad-2/
